The Blue Battle - a stage IV rectal cancer journey

12 rounds done!  Yes, after 5 long months I finally finished chemo.  Post chemo I had a PET scan which showed something still might be on my liver; basically it lit up but not brightly so an MRI with contrast was scheduled to look at that spot more closely.  The good news?  It was just a scar tissue spot from my last surgery!  This means that currently I have no active cancer in my body detectable by scans.  The words “remission” and “cured” are not in the Stage IV vocabulary.  This is because there are still likely cancer cells in my body but they are not detectable by scans.  So, every three months I will have scans and if something lights up will either have it removed surgically or return to chemo to try and shrink and kill the cells.  Prayers are still appreciated because this is a long road ahead with lots of chemo and surgical side effects that I will deal with for a long time.

Today I have "good" news to share!  I still have 4 rounds of chemo left but today is my last day with the oxaliplatin.  The oxaliplatin causes cold senstivity in my hands, feet, and mouth, as well as neuropathy, auditory hypersensitivity, and overall allergic reaction.  For the final 4 rounds I won't have oxaliplatin in my chemo lineup! Also, the oncology team at Huntsman in Salt Lake City reviewed my case at their tumor board meeting and determined based on the scan that the interventional radiologist most likely did get the majority or all of the cancer lesion in the dome of my liver.  So most likely no surgery unless something new shows up on a scan. Right now the plan is another scan after chemo is finished and then monitor with scans every 10-12 weeks and as soon as something pops up to treat surgically if possible. Please continue to pray that nothing lights up on any scans especially in the lymph nodes since that indicates that cancer is not treatable anym

Since I am nearing the half way point in my chemo rounds, I practically begged my oncologist to give me a scan.  I needed to know that the chemo was doing something, that all these side effects were worth it.  On Tuesday I had a PET scan.  In the cancer world we refer to scanxiety as the severe anxiety a cancer patient experiences before a scan.  My scanxiety was high!  Late yesterday afternoon I received my PET scan results in my online patient portal.  Unfortunately, I had just gone to the eye doctor and my eyes were dilated. One of my friends/colleagues was kind enough to offer to read the results to me.  The news: liver lesion has shrunk, a lymph node that had previously lit up on a scan was no where to be seen, and the lung nodules have not changed in size!  Yes I still have cancer in my body but now I know the chemo is doing something!  It mildly helps in the mental battle of sitting through chemo infusions and wearing the chemo pump for 48 hours. I won't have another scan un

This past week has been chemo #4.  Each chemo session is a new experience with new symptoms.  Frustratingly I still continue to have an allergic reaction during the infusion.  Even with trying new premeds and meds during the infusion, I still experience an out of body trippy feeling and inability to speak correctly.  I have a big appreciation for my chemo nurses who have to deal with people who are 100% sick every day.  This past chemo left me with over 24 hours of diahrrea, vomiting, and nausea.  Nothing stays in so tomorrow I will go back to the cancer center for IV fluids and hopefully stronger anti nausea meds since nothing seems to be effective.  The cats have been very happy to have me in bed today.  I had all four on the bed with me; I think they know if don't feel well.  Please continue to pray for overall healing but also specifically for healing for this current inability to eat or drink and get the nutrients I need.

this is a comic written by a man with cancer.  It is called Cancer Owl a d is based off real life experiences of cancer patients

Tuesday was my second chemo infusion but it almost didn't happen.  My white blood cell count (WBC) had dropped from a 7 to 1.9 since the first infusion.  The decision was made to proceed with chemo but the followup with a Neulesta shot on Thursday to promote bone marrow growth.  The side effect-bone pain :(  Also, I have to become more of a hermit and avoid places with lots of people and exposure to germs.  Hard to do when I work with students and the public on a daily basis. Today I get unhooked from the chemo pump and then receive the shot.  Also, on Tuesday I experienced an allergic reaction to the chemo.  I became very sleepy but also trippy feeling, couldn't speak very well or had to concentrate on my words, and lost bladder control.  Now, I must take some pre meds before chemo and while wearing the pump to keep that from happening in the future.  So far no noticeable hair loss but found out it might take another couple weeks to show up.  On Tuesday I did receive a very n